Out At College, Closeted While Quarantined At Home


You finally found your niche at college where you have like-minded friends who are gay. No longer are you bullied as you were in high school because you can express your self, your identity and your sexual orientation. You feel free because you’re out!

But with college classes cancelled, you’re right back where you started: closeted at home with your parents. You may be back in your old room with bad memories of your high school days. Will your college open in the fall or even next year? In the interim, you’re living in limbo, in what seems like too-close-for-comfort quarters with your parents whom you haven’t told that you’re gay. Nor do you want to now.

So, what can you do not to erase your sexual orientation, communicate with your gay friends, and try to celebrate PRIDE this month, at least virtually?


                        Privacy Counts


  • Keep your phone with you at all times.
  • If using a family computer, be sure to erase sites that would out you.
  • LGBT PRIDE events in June may not be celebrated on foot due to the crowds during the Corona Virus, but Pride is not forgotten. There are many virtual celebrations such as Global Pride on Saturday, June 27, at 10:30 a.m. World leaders, royalty pop stars and drag queens will anchor this year’s 24-hour Global livestream. Black Lives Matter will be front and center. The streaming messages of support, music, performances, speeches can be seen at The Global Pride website, Todrick Hall’s YouTube channel and the iHeart Radio YouTube channel.


                         What IF…


  • If you know your parents won’t be accepting of your sexual orientation, don’t come out! In these Covid-19 times, you may not have another place to live if your parents kick you out of their house.
  • They may try to “fix” you, suggest religion as a conversion or insist that your orientation is a “phase.” But they won’t be able to convert you to being straight.
  • You can’t control others, but you can control your behavior. No name-calling that can elevate into violence


                         Take A Break


  • Don’t forget to walk, exercise, and as outdoor dining opens up, exit the house, even if you have to wear a mask.
  • Take a deep breath. Even though quarantining may seem like an eternity, a toxic environment, “this too will pass.”














When Your Child is Gay

When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need To Know

For more detailed advice, see book, co-authored with a mother of a gay son and a psychiatrist, Jonathan L. Tobkes, M.D.

Wesley Cullen Davidson

Wesley Cullen Davidson is an award-winning freelance writer and journalist specializing in parenting as well as gay and lesbian content. For the past two years, Wesley has concentrated almost exclusively on the lesbian and gay community, specifically on advising straight parents of gay children on how to be better parents and raise happy, well-adjusted adults

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