10 Facts from a Sober Parent of a Once-Addicted Child

As the parent of a son who had both alcohol and opioid use disorders, I don’t pretend to have all the answers.  I don’t have a medical degree but I can share what worked or didn’t work for me in my quest for my son’s sobriety.

1.  Addiction rearranges the family roles. The younger sibling may feel neglected because the one with the problem gets more attention.
2. You probably will feel incompetent because you can’t “fix” the addicted child. Only he can reconstruct his life.  The desire to reconstruct his life has to be greater than the life he leads now: pursuing illicit drugs, manipulating you, making you feel guilty, asking for money, etc.
3. Lock up your prescriptions. Don’t assume your child’s doctor won’t give them “black box” prescriptions or tell him how to taper off the benzodiazepines “benzos” or any other potent drug.
4. If your child has a problem with alcohol, have him detox in a hospital. The detox from alcohol is more severe than withdrawing from opioids (it can produce a seizure) and can be life-threatening.
5. Try to get your child into a rehabilitation program of HIS choice.  He would be more apt to adhere to it.
6. If he won’t go to a therapist, then you find a mental health expert who specializes in addiction for YOUR sanity.
7.  Drugs are everywhere. You can buy them online, they are more potent. Even marijuana can produce psychosis. Pills can be counterfeit and contain fentanyl.
8. Try not to be “enabling” to reduce tension in your home. Hold your child accountable for his actions with consequential rules. If he gets a speeding ticket, take away the car and don’t pay the ticket.
9. If you’re thinking of sending your child to a “rehab,” read between the lines. Rehabs are “for profit.” If your child leaves the program early, you will not get your money returned. Don’t think that drugs aren’t smuggled into rehabs, half -way houses and prisons.
10. Don’t let your child hit “rock bottom.” He could die. If you can, get a diagnosis called a “co-occurring” disorder or a “dual diagnosis.” It’s a simultaneous substance use disorder with a mental health condition. Your child is numbing himself for a reason.