Parents and Schools Get An F in Sex Education
According to sex researcher, Megan Maas, Ph.D., Assistant Professor of Human Development and Family Studies at Michigan State, college kids are having less sex, but spending more time looking at online porn. In her work, Dr. Maas collects surveys and focus group data from adolescents on their media habits and sexuality experiences.
Her findings from her survey of 2,000 students are startling:
- Less than 1/2 of students’ parents discussed sex more than once. The parents mistakenly thought the “talk” had to only been given once.
- Less than 7 percent of parents discussed pornography, sexual pleasure and sexual consent with their children.
- Only 26% of parents discussed sexual violence with their children.
Over ninety percent of parents want their children to have sexual education in schools yet only twenty-four states are mandated to teach it. Out of those states, only ten have medically accurate information so it’s up to the teachers to interpret vague legislative guidelines when the information isn’t properly regulated by the state. If you live in states like New Jersey, Illinois, Oregon, Nevada, Colorado, and California, sexual health is covered as part of the sex education curriculum.
Sex Ed. Often Doesn’t Apply to LGBT+ Students
“Abstinence-only” education isn’t advisable for cis-gender or LGBT+ students and contraception isn’t applicable for LGBT+ students. The drawbacks of these curriculums, according to Daniel Rice, ex-Director of Answer, National organization that provides inclusive sex education information to teachers and students, are that they “erase identities from the class and don’t give the LGBT students what they deserve.” With accurate information, LGBT +students will feel less isolated and depressed. “It can also lead to lowering instances of homophobia and transphobia in the school community,” argues Rice. Yet, Lamda Legal reports that only eight percent of LGBTQ+ students receive inclusive sex education.
To make schools more inclusive, find out what the laws are in your state. Go to the local school board to find out what sex education looks like in your community schools.
- The nursing blog at usc compares legislative policies of fifty states, including how they mandate specific aspects of sex education such as contraception, abstinence, and sexual orientation.
- The legislation for sex ed. falls under jurisdiction of state rights. You can find representatives and senators and tell them to support Teen Pregnancy Prevention Program (TPPP) and the Personal Responsibility Education Program (PREP) and put an end to abstinence-only -until-marriage and sexual avoidance (SRA) programs.
- You can order Siecus‘s (Sexuality and Information and Education Council of the United States “advancing sex ed for social change since 1964.” book Guidelines for Comprehensive Sexuality Education, k-12.
So, if schools are lacking in presenting inclusive sexual health education, parents are reticent about ongoing sexual discussions, and students are turning to porn as a sexual resource that teaches sexual violence, and not intimacy, trust, and respect in a real relationship. what should parents do?
How Can Straight Parents Talk to LGBTQ+ Kids When The Experiences Aren’t Shared? Here are some suggestions from Ritch Savin-Williams, author of The New Gay Teenager and a Cornell professor:
- Don’t presume that your child is cis-gender or LGBTQ+ Sexuality is fluid.
- Use the word “partner,” not “girl friend” or “boy friend.” Your bases are covered that way.
- Leave pronouns neutral.
- Share your values in an inclusive way.
- Look for teachable moments to keep the discussion going such as movies or television shows.
- Don’t out your child. The story doesn’t belong to you!
Some Reliable Resources:
- Planned Parenthood
- PFLAG ( Parents of Lesbian and Gays)
- GLSEN ( Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network)
- U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
- Caitlin Ryan, Ph.D. Family Acceptance Project, San Francisco State
Parents and schools should not worry that additional information will cause their adolescents to become promiscuous. Quite the contrary, they will make well-informed decisions based on well-respected knowledge, not hearsay or ignorance.
When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need To Know
For more detailed advice, see book, co-authored with a mother of a gay son and a psychiatrist, Jonathan L. Tobkes, M.D.
