It’s been three years since The Supreme Court first recognized gay marriage.  You would think with legalized same-sex marriage in the U.S., LGBT couples would automatically be able to adopt.  Not so!

It is estimated that 8-10 million children are being raised in gay and lesbian households.  As of 2016, LGBTQ adoption was made legal in fifty states yet restrictions were put on couples this year.  By allowing publicly funded adoption agencies to discriminate against same-sex couples because of the agencies’ religious beliefs or convictions, they deny placement to LGBT couples.  Ten states currently allow this denial.  At least three states (Kansas, Oklahoma, and Michigan) have pending lawsuits against The Department of Health and Human Services.

Same-sex couples are six times more likely than heterosexual couples to be raising foster children.  LGBT +couples are four times more likely to have an adopted child than heterosexual couples.  Yet, the couples are turned away from agencies that receive taxpayer money because of their moral or religious convictions.

Unfortunately, the U.S. Children’s Bureau reports that the statistics for foster care have risen annually since 2012.  Yet, the efforts of same-sex couples can be stymied by the whims of the religious, not unlike the Colorado baker who wouldn’t bake a wedding cake for a same-sex wedding.

The policy, like others, is not LGBT-friendly. Couples, whether straight or LGBT, have to prove that they are worthy of adopting and providing a good home.  They are interviewed, reveal their financial status, have home studies where a social worker comes to your home to ascertain if your home is safe, clean, whatever.  And you wait until you are chosen.

You have to really want to parent to comply with adoption agencies’ rules.  We all know straight parents who have given birth to a surprise child.  Those parents are not put through microscopes and had their motives for wanting children questioned.

Consider the benefits of Same-sex adoption:

Married same-sex couples tend to have higher incomes.  The income of male couples was more than that of straight couples and female couples.  –
NBC News, March 5, 2018
According to UCLA’s Williams Institute, a think tank for research on sexual orientation and gender identity law and public policy, same-sex couples who adopt children are more diverse in socio-economic status and ethnicity.
The Review of Research Prepared for American Sociological Association Amicus Brief in U.S.: Studies reveal that children raised in same-sex parent families fare just as well as children raised in different sex parent marriages.
A University of S.C. Study concluded that kids with lesbian or gay parents show more empathy for social diversity are less confined by gender stereotypes, e.g. Zach Wahls raised by two lesbian mothers in Iowa.  He is now a Democratic Senator in that state.

With over 400,00 children in foster care and LGBT couples willing to adopt, why humiliate and discriminate against the non-straight couples?  The foster kids deserve love and the LGBT couples deserve to love them.

When Your Child is Gay

When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need To Know

For more detailed advice, see book, co-authored with a mother of a gay son and a psychiatrist, Jonathan L. Tobkes, M.D.

Wesley Cullen Davidson

Wesley Cullen Davidson is an award-winning freelance writer and journalist specializing in parenting as well as gay and lesbian content. For the past two years, Wesley has concentrated almost exclusively on the lesbian and gay community, specifically on advising straight parents of gay children on how to be better parents and raise happy, well-adjusted adults

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