Some tips for Gay Kids for a More Peaceful Holiday with Straight Folks
Do’s and Don’ts For the Holidays:
- Don’t push your agenda on your relatives. While you may want to educate them about your gay lifestyle and how you feel more honest about “being out,” save your coming out for a more relaxed time.
- If your parents have a hard time accepting alternate lifestyles, don’t expect things to be magically different during the holidays.
- You don’t want to lend more stress to the holiday quest for perfection: perfect meal, perfect home, perfect gifts to compliment the recipients.
- It’s best not to introduce your signficant other to the family at this time. Wait until the “holiday craziness” is over and your family can focus on welcoming your partner.
- However, if your partner is already with you in your parents’ home, and your parents put in your old bedroom with twin beds, don’t grouse about it. Remember it’s their house!
Do:
- Have an escape plan. Pick your battles. You should be treated with respect. Don’t compromise your own beliefs, but don’t demand that your family share all your beliefs. Take a time out if your emotions escalate.
- · Remember that these are your parents and with time, they will come to accept your orientation. You’re the same person you’ve always been and whom they’ve loved all along.
- Keep in mind that the visit with the family won’t last forever. Try to enjoy yourself. The visit will soon be over and you will be in your own home.
When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need To Know
For more detailed advice, see book, co-authored with a mother of a gay son and a psychiatrist, Jonathan L. Tobkes, M.D.
