- It must be a phase you’re going through!
- You’re too young to know!
- How could you be? You were just dating Sally!
- How can you be sure?
- You’re too feminine/masculine to be gay.
- · Try to find parents who’ve been through similar experiences and talk to them.
- · Reach out to supportive family members and/or friends who will be positive.
- · Try to overcome your misconceptions and stereotypes of GLBT person and replace with realistic models.
- · You may want to consult a therapist. Without knowing or understanding that you’re using denial, it’s hard to break down the defense and come to terms with the reality of the situation.
- · Join a community support group such as Parents of Lesbians & Gays.
The most important steps for working through your denial involve direct and honest conversation with your child and other family members. If you aren’t used to starting important conversations within your family, a therapist can help you by providing you with the appropriate language.
When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need To Know
For more detailed advice, see book, co-authored with a mother of a gay son and a psychiatrist, Jonathan L. Tobkes, M.D.