Privacy vs. The Right to Know

 
If you are suspicious your child may be gay, do you, as a parent, have the right to ask? 
I believe your kid will tell you she is gay when she is ready. You shouldn’t “out” her to others until she wants you to; after all, it’s her story that she may want to hold close to her chest for a while.
You may be dying to have your suspicions confirmed, but it can backfire.  You can try to find out by “coming in the back door.” See below.
        Do’s and Don’t’s:
·     Do elicit comments through discussions about celebrities, for example, like Lady GaGa and her “Born This Way” Foundation.
·     Don’t ask point blank “are you gay?”  Even though it’s your child, have boundaries of what’s acceptable to ask.  You don’t have to know everything.
·     Do talk about birth control, safe sex; it’s your parental duty.
·     Don’t ask if she last lost her virginity.
·     Do get her opinions about same-sex marriage, for example, and give her your positive ones that show you respect diversity. Then she will know that you are not criticizing a minority. If she feels secure, accepted in this environment, she will be more apt to “come out.”
Do you think a parent has the right to know?
Please post a comment here.

When Your Child is Gay

When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need To Know

For more detailed advice, see book, co-authored with a mother of a gay son and a psychiatrist, Jonathan L. Tobkes, M.D.

Wesley Cullen Davidson

Wesley Cullen Davidson

Wesley Cullen Davidson is an award-winning freelance writer and journalist specializing in parenting as well as gay and lesbian content. For the past two years, Wesley has concentrated almost exclusively on the lesbian and gay community, specifically on advising straight parents of gay children on how to be better parents and raise happy, well-adjusted adults

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